Archive for the oh nose Category

Update to the Mr. Yoo saga

Posted in Hawaii, oh nose, social commentary on January 6, 2008 by neal

Attn: Facebook users
For the must current revisions, click the link above to head to real blog

Okay, I’ll admit it, the Mr. Yoo saga might not be much of a saga. The last few days have yielded absolutely no Yoo sightings so I have no proof of his exhibitionism that I mentioned in the last blog on the subject. Sadly, despite some certain goading, I’ve heard nothing from his domicile.

I had cast some bait in the form of a letter to the editor. I wrote it on the second and it was published the Sunday after. Thus far, no bite. At least not yet. I might need to assure somehow that he reads the letter.

If you’re interested, you can go check out the slightly edited version online. Aside from inserting an unnecessary comma, removing a couple words and messing up an instance of subject-verb agreement, changing city to county in reference to ordinances (I intentionally used city because that’s specifically what the neighbor said, neglecting that Maui has a county government), and editing out a beloved semi-colon, the published version isn’t that much more exciting–it’s only The Maui News.

But for those of you deciding you’d rather not click the link to mauinews.com or who would like to compare versions, I’ve included the original text: Continue reading

Good to meet you, Mr. Yoo (or is it You?).

Posted in from Neal's secret diary, oh nose, social commentary on January 2, 2008 by neal

Upon arriving at my parent’s home in Maui two weeks go and at heading to my old room the first time in nine months, my mom gave me a warning that we had a new next-door neighbor and that this old man has a penchant for hanging outside his house and wetting himself down right in the view from my window on the second floor of my house. Since the, the shuttered blinds on that side of the room have been a reminder of his all-bearing presence. But during my New Year’s Eve celebrations, the notion of having a next-door neighbor was the furthest thing from my mind.

Overall, the man has been a mystery to my parents. Then I met him. I met my new neighbor in what I believe to be the worst way possible, save for him throwing the new neighbor pie back in my face. Now, I’ve come to not expect much from the residents of the house next door. The first impressions of the the man living next door upon my family’s move the house in which I grew up was poor; he took issue at nearly everything my family, and in particular, I, would do. His house stood as the lone mess in our properly manicured neighborhood. Somehow, I devised the metaphor that his house was a barf bag, pardon me, an air sickness bag. Oh, how
it irritated me when the spiders would creep from his house through the palm tree barrier that separated us from him. To continue with the metaphor, our house was a pristine paper grocery filled with the most delectable treats and his bag quite often tainted our bag–no, house. Regardless of the state of his abode, if there was something bothering him about my family and our practices, he would call. If I was practicing my trombone and it wasn’t too his liking, he would call, even if he was thousands of miles away in Canada to yell at my mother and demand that we stop torturing demented elephants or else he would call animal control on us. If our dog was making even the slightest noise, he would call, yell, and threaten to sic animal control on us, which, in retrospect, would have been a great way to rid ourselves of that wretched pomeranian. Continue reading

Where are product recalls that really matter?

Posted in consumerism, oh nose, travel on January 1, 2008 by neal
Putting all New Year’s festivities aside, I come to you with something that has wrought unending trouble to me. Today, I was at Whaler’s General Store, helping my sister pick up some tourist garbage for her to give to friends and I came across this interesting specimen.


It’s not the lead paint that undoubtedly coats this charming little dashboard ornament that concerns me. No, there is something infinitely more disconcerting.

Please, whoever designed designed poor Ku’uipo, tell me why she’s playing the violin and why she does not have a bow.